Promises, Promises

Elon Musk's traffic-solving Tesla tunnel keeps getting traffic jams

The Boring Company's underground Tesla transit was supposed to cut back on congestion. Instead it’s simply moved it underground.

The Boring Company’s main selling point, according to Elon Musk, is that it will help reduce major cities’ traffic congestion problems thanks to hyper-fast, eco-friendly underground transit systems to ferry visitors and commuters throughout town.

But, surprise surprise, it doesn’t make good on any of its promises. In fact, it’s arguably making things worse, judging from this video of an underground Tesla traffic jam in the Boring Company’s first public tunnel located underneath the Las Vegas Convention Center.

Can someone please inform the Technoking that “out of sight, out of mind” is not a sustainable urban planning model?

This doesn’t happen often, we swear — In a clip uploaded to Twitter by Paris Marx, a traveler can be heard talking to a Boring employee inside one of the company’s Teslas about what it’s like to be stuck in a single-direction underground tube for their entire working day. (Sidenote: weren’t these things supposed to be fully self-driving?)

At one point, the Tesla slows down as it approaches what is obviously a very plodding ride of shame for many other travelers. The driver swears this doesn’t happen too often. Elon Musk has won multiple municipal contracts to build additional Boring Company tunnels under cities like Fort Lauderdale, alleging that they will one day provide wondrous, high-speed public transport. Literally all we’ve seen so far (after millions of dollars spent, mind you) are some plain Teslas barely topping 35mph in a claustrophobic techno-intestinal tract.

Failing upwards — But this is Musk’s whole schtick these days. He shows up in public promising wonders, only to consistently pull the ol’ switcheroo of gullible consumers like some Silicon Valley Willy Wonka. Sadly, we’re sure more cities will continue to throw gobs(toppers) of money towards Musk’s companies expecting the Technoking to work his capitalist magic, even after videos like this one. Oh, and recalls like this one, too.