$1M

If there was ever a case to abandon digital finances and the emerging cryptocurrency market in favor of a return to the physical bartering of seashells and glass beads, it’s NFTs. We’ve seen quite our share of (mostly bad) non-fungible token projects over the past year or so, but it genuinely surprises us to only just now learn of what, by all means, should have been one of the medium’s earliest incarnations: NFT ‘girlfriends.’

Well, regardless of the timeline, here they are. Despite its very name, conceit, design, aesthetics, and execution, “Bull Market Girlfriends” swears it is an “empowering” and celebratory project of the female form — beauty standard-conforming, largely unattainable, and literally monetized female forms, but female forms nonetheless.

“The project is led, designed, and executed by a woman. Beautiful women have always been the subject of art since cave drawings,” Kris K. and her husband, Martin Lavoie, told Vice, because nothing screams “progressive, egalitarian, and nuanced” like neanderthal artwork. In any case, people have collectively shelled out over $1 million on such feminist representations as “Good Girl #6,” “Girlfriend #15,” and “Beauty Queen #3.”

Who could possibly take umbrage from unnamed girlfriend #38 for sale?Bull Market Girlfriends

If you mint it, they will come — Noted professional terrible person P.T. Barnum is alleged to have once said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” Apparently, there’s no evidence he did say these words, but lack of evidence never stopped him from doing what he wanted. Regardless of the originator, and who knows how many suckers are out there... but there definitely seems to be an NFT minted every second. Although Bull Market Girlfriends’ creator has capped the series at 2,500 NFTs, we’re sure there will be a similar idea ready to roll out on the blockchain as soon as this one wraps up.

God help us ready ourselves for whatever comes next.