Tropicana this week announced a cereal specifically created to be eaten with orange juice, and we can’t wait to try it. “Tropicana Crunch” will be available on May 4 in honor of National Orange Juice Day. It won’t be on shelves — you’ll have to request a free box while supplies last from TropicanaCrunch.com. The cereal will be “honey almond clusters” that are “down to be drowned in OJ.” Hell yeah.
Sugar coated in sugar drenched in sugar — “It may not be for everyone (but it could be for you!),” Tropicana writes. It’ll be like a smoothie bowl. It’ll be like a creamsicle surprise. It’ll be a giant leap for mankind.
OJ mania — According to Tropicana survey results acquired by Wakefield Research, a staggering 15 million Americans have poured OJ on their breakfast cereal. Tropicana says half of the adults who used OJ with their cereal did it because they thought it might taste good, while more than a third did it just because they love OJ.
This world never ceases to amaze and inspire us. Kellogg’s made beer out of corn flakes. Tropicana, seeking culinary chaos, made toothpaste. There are now cereal versions of Sour Patch Kids and Dippin Dots. There have been cereal donuts and donut cereal. According to The Wall Street Journal, a 1980s Cheerios ad showed a mother cooking Cheerios in a skillet with butter and salt like popcorn. Cereal is art. Cereal is a straw. Cereal is dangerous. This is actual reality, baby!
For a product initially created to suppress the desire to masturbate, the fearless innovation of breakfast cereals always manages to astonish. Maybe soon they’ll even start making cereal bags resealable.
It’s too early to say whether this marketing stunt will actually taste any good, but there’s only one way to find out.