Ding Dong

Bowser's penis is being censored by Nintendo

Patreon pulled a realistic rendering of Bowser's penis after Nintendo reportedly asked for it to be removed.

TOKYO, JAPAN - 2021/03/03: Decorative Bowser sticker on a glass wall inside Nintendo Tokyo store in Shibuya. (Photo by Stanislav Kogiku/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)
SOPA Images/LightRocket/Getty Images

Adult modeler AkkoArcade posted a detailed mock-up of Bowser’s penis on Patreon — and somehow Nintendo found out about it. The Japanese company, which is notoriously defensive of its IP, forced Patreon to pull AkkoArcade’s Bowser penis from its servers, according to EuroGamer.

“This peepee got claimed by Nin tendo,” AkkoArcade tweeted afterward, along with the original penis design, which can be seen here (content warning: it’s a profile view of a digitally rendered penis complete with a spikey cock ring).

Patreon’s Trust & Safety team reached out to AkkoArcade after the fact to specify that the post had been taken down due to copyright infringement. “Specifically, the claim comes from Nintendo of America Inc., who owns the copyrights to the content being utilized in your posts on Patreon,” the email says. AkkoArcade’s tweet has, as of this writing, garnered more than 30,000 favorites and nearly 6,000 retweets.

The detailed rendering was meant for use in the Source Filmmaker, a free, Steam-based program used to create rendered movies — and, yes, many of those movies are of a sexual nature. Either Nintendo didn’t want Bowser to become a porn star… or perhaps this wasn’t Nintendo at all.

Wait… how did Nintendo find out? — It’s not surprising that Nintendo would ask AkkoArcade to take down the Bowser penis once the company discovered it. But that’s the big question here: how would Nintendo have found out about the veiny, knobbly, fictional penis when it was posted to a paywalled Patreon page? AkkoArcade has a sneaking suspicion that someone pretending to be Nintendo reached out to Patreon about the renderings.

But another ex-Patreon adult artist told the Daily Dot that Nintendo has made similar requests on the platform before. “Lots of artists have been threatened off the platform or into submission for it,” said the artist, who requested anonymity. We’ll probably never know the real answer here unless a representative from Nintendo happens to speak up... and we don’t expect that’s going to happen.

Now it’s canon — Nintendo is notorious for protecting its intellectual property with gusto, but in most cases, it does so for pieces of art it’s actually created, not fan art. And so — of course — Twitter users have taken Nintendo’s takedown as evidence that this is actually Bowser’s penis. Now it’s canon.

It’s going to take a lot more than a Patreon takedown to stop AkkoArcade; they’ve already posted the full Bowser penis files on Google Drive for free. Enjoy Bowser’s penis while you still can — now it’s easier to find than ever, which probably isn’t great news for the rendering’s ability to stay on the internet.