The process of switching to Android after half a decade using an iPhone has been one of minor annoyance and constant discovery. There were the hiccups I anticipated: ruining the group chat by becoming the only green bubble user, not having the native FaceTime app, being excluded from the revival of the exalted shit-talking platform Yik Yak, etc.
But it’s truly the little things that have shaken up my world the most, in many ways for the better. As I’ve discovered one by one as I use them, my Samsung emoji are so much dumber than what I had in the past. Clipart bodies, “please sir” eyes, questionable alternation between 3D and 2D styling.
They are ridiculous. They are goofy. They are perfect — perhaps none so much as the fly, which I happened upon this morning. Call it serendipity.
Garbage brain — Samsung’s fly is truly the embodiment of “No thoughts, head empty.” His eyes are wide open but he is looking at nothing. He is content. He says “bzz bzz bzz / and it’s just becuz.” Morty? That you?
This little idiot now officially resides in my Happy Place, where he is presumably best friends with Google’s idea of a turtle.