- 1 bottle Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew
- 1 bag Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
- 1 invite to coronation of Flamin’ Hot Dew as the official drink of Hell, Michigan (feat. DJ Pauly D and “Chef” Action Bronson)
- Flamin’ Hot themed temporary tattoos
- 1 Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew hand towel (?)
- (Pièce de résistance) 1 Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew fanny pack
What was I supposed to do with a Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew hand towel? Drape it over my face to hide from God as one does while eating an ortolan while I sample the decadent, cruel brand alliance? Same goes for the temporary tattoos — do I really need to emblazon myself with the Mark of the Beast?
The fanny pack, however...
I gotta say, Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew is... fine? Kind of.
It’s unfortunately nothing spectacular, and leans too far into the Dew side of the palate versus the realm of Flamin’ Hot. There’s a bit of that flavor on the backend, but honestly Mtn Dew should fully embrace its Cocktail from Hell.