Blown away

The Kiiroo Keon is the blowjob robot of your dreams

Screw the moon landing, we're finally justifying the past century of technological advancement.

Kiiroo

230

The number of strokes per minute from this literal sex machine.

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Specs:

  • 8.6 inches x 5.1 inches x 5.7 inches
  • 2.4 lbs
  • 30 minutes to 2 hours of battery life
  • 4 hours charging time
  • Bluetooth enabled
  • 8 LED lights corresponding to four stroke lengths and eight speed settings
  • Only for people with dicks
Kiiroo

Also, it charges over micro-USB which, in 2021, is not the universal convenience it once was.

USB-C or bust (in the bad way).

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The Keon has a variety of impressive features, including the “Feel Connect” smartphone app that enables an extra level of control, sync integration with (compatible) porn, teledildonics for couples who’d like to maintain their sex lives at a distance, suction control to help adapt the sleeves to consumers of different dick sizes, and even VR support.

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Unfortunately, there’s almost no queer porn available to sync with this or any other teledildonic devices.

It blows (in the bad way).

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Interchangeable sleeves

Kiiroo offers a variety of “Feel Stroker” sleeves, molded from soft plastics and silicone, each with a unique design and interior. They feel fantastic and extremely lifelike. Again, there are unfortunately no anatomy options besides vaginas. But on the other hand (yet another pun), appearance aside, they feel great!

Kiiroo

In our opinion, the Keon is absolutely not a device you’d ever want to travel with. It’s way too heavy, unmanageably bulky, and too delicate to be tossed in your luggage. I’m not sure how much self-pleasuring you may need to do on vacation, but you’ll have to make do with the stroker sleeves alone.

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There is practically no competition on the market for this device. If you want a robot to beat you off, the Kiiroo Keon is your only option. But it’s a damn good option.

Kiiroo

$250

The price is a hard sell for anyone but the most wealthy and discerning masturbator.

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It’s also not a great gift since giving actual blowjobs is, you know, free.

The big finish

The Kiirroo Keon is an expensive, but impressive, premium sex toy experience. It’s sturdy yet streamlined, comes with a huge feature set, and feels great when in use. It’s a shame you’ll have to lay down two and a half Benjamins to stick your penis in it — but that’s tech for you!

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