Screw you

This immersive VR sex toy is now the second best reason to stay home

Just promise us you'll remember to eat and shower.

Lovense

Singapore-based sex-tech company Lovense has announced its new product Lovense Media Player, which launches globally today. Previously we've highlighted sexy products you could build, share, and collect, but this one promises to make your porn a bit more… touchy-feely, let’s say.

Lovense Media Player is a Windows app that allows users to sync the rhythm of their sex toys up with, well, anything! Presumably it will mostly be used for 2D and VR porn but the company also suggests you take “home videos, music clips, or favorite movies” for a spin. Pool scene from Cruel Intentions where you get to see Ryan Phillipe’s butt, here I come! (Pun intended.)

8 ball, corner pocket.Lovense

How it twerks — The software pairs with the Lovense toy, naturally, which “vibrates, rotates, or oscillates synchronously” in whatever way you might particularly prefer. Me? I like oscillating.

The app then allows users to create vibrating patterns to sync up with whatever clip they’ve chosen. The custom rhythm can then be shared with other users around the globe. This should be a particularly exciting development for everyone who’s remote dating during the pandemic and run out of platonic things to do with their partner in Animal Crossing.

Party for one.Lovense

"Our long-term goal is to create a complete ecosystem that will expand the applicability of Lovense toys and open up new dimensions of pleasure and sexual experience to our fans," says Dan Liu, the company's CEO. "Lovense Media Player is another step towards this goal." It seems like you're all about helping people reach their goals.

Compatibility orgy — The Lovense Media Player is compatible with Oculus Rift, Samsung Gear VR, HTC Vive, and more, because, as we all know, it doesn't matter which tech company you support: Love is love.