2.3.2020 7:32 PM

Guides

Clean your filthy apartment windows with this magnetic contraption

Come on, it's time.

After moving into my new apartment, specifically for its view of the back garden, I was dismayed to discover that the windows had literally never been cleaned. What had the previous tenant been doing with their life?

Living in filth like a feral animal, apparently. I was disgusted. How dare they. Not only was the soot obscuring the view of the flowers and ivy, it was also functioning as a daily reminder that no matter what I did in life, no matter how much I spent on rent, I would forever be trash on the sole of New York's boot. So I turned to technology to help me.

Since I can't afford a window-cleaning robot, I opted for this two-piece magnetic handle that affixes to the inside and outside of your window so when you wipe down the inside, you're also wiping down the outside. I would no longer gaze upon a decade of grime. This tool has made cleaning my inaccessible windows a cinch and even has no issue cleaning the double-paned glass in my living room.

The screw function ensures you won't need an impressive set of guns to pull the device's powerful magnets apart, the attached rope will inevitably save you when you drop the outer half from three stories up, and the removable microfiber cloths are simple to clean or replace. For $100, this plastic doohickey has made my apartment look and feel infinitely more expensive and luxurious. Clean your windows. You're an adult.